


The Accumulation Conflagration

by Daedaleopsis



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 01:47:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9856517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daedaleopsis/pseuds/Daedaleopsis
Summary: Penny thinks there couldn't be anything weirder than Sheldon asking to go along on her ski trip. Little does she know this is the weekend that will change everything between them. AU from mid-season 2.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The Big Bang Theory & its characters don't belong to me. Honestly, at this point, I'm not sure I'd want it. Yup, I prefer my rose-colored Shenny fantasies.

This must be what going insane feels like, Penny thought. She stared, slack-jawed, up into her lanky neighbor's face. Intense blue eyes met her gaze in a serious manner.

"You want to come with me... on my ski trip? Do you even know how to ski?" she asked incredulously, imagining Sheldon tumbling down the mountainside, windmilling arms and skis all tangled together.

"Don't be ridiculous," he scoffed. "I have absolutely no interest in pointless physical exertion. I have recently been dabbling in meteorology for fun in my spare time, and I wish to accompany you to take precise measurements of meteorological phenomena in the Lake Tahoe region." Seeing her hesitate, he added, "I would, of course, be willing to compensate you for my portion of the travel expenses and accommodations."

She bit her lip, thinking hard. If Sheldon did come along, the cost of the cabin she and her friends were renting would be divided five ways, instead of four. That would mean she would only have to pay... well, it would be a lot less, she decided, giving up on the math.

"Promise me you won't try to explain your experiments to any of my friends, and you've got yourself a deal," she said with a grin.

* * *

Driving to Lake Tahoe with Sheldon as a passenger wasn't as bad as Penny had anticipated. Sheldon filled the time quoting what he considered to be "fun facts" and only once pointed out that her check engine light was on. They had been driving for a few hours when she finally put her finger on what had always bothered her about the check engine light issue.

"Sheldon, why haven't you ever asked me why I don't get my car looked at?" she asked.

He stole a cautious glance at her. "Perhaps you don't have the money to get your car repaired."

Her eyes snapped over to his face, where she caught sight of a slight twitch below his left eye. Just as awareness dawned on her, he yelped in alarm. "Eyes on the road, Penny!"

She quickly guided the car back into the correct lane. Really, he was such a stick in the mud, she thought. It wasn't even like there were any other cars coming towards them.

"You know, don't you?" she accused, keeping her eyes straight ahead.

"Of course, I do. I know everything," he retorted smugly. "How could anyone not notice that approximately every six months, you smell like motor oil, usually on a clement Sunday afternoon? Besides, I haven't forgotten that your father showed you how to take apart and reassemble a tractor engine. It isn't a great leap of logic to assume that you're capable of maintaining an automobile engine, especially an older model such as yours which contains fewer computerized components."

"So you knew all along that the check engine light was on-"

"Because you change your own oil and perform other routine maintenance on your vehicle? I suspected as much, although I am uncertain why you simply don't fix the check engine light as well."

"There's nothing wrong with the light, Sheldon," she growled, still annoyed. "The car is programmed to make the light come on so you'll take it to the dealership, when all it really needs is an oil change. There's some sequence of buttons to push that will make it turn off. I've just never cared enough to fork out the twenty bucks to buy the manual so I can turn the warning light off. I could probably find that information out online if I wanted, but I don't need to. This car's my baby." She patted the dashboard affectionately. "We've been together since Nebraska. I take care of her, and she takes care of me."

Sheldon apparently decided to ignore the incongruity of assigning gender to a non-sentient hunk of metal and plastic. "Penny, you believe that the check engine light is illuminated merely because you have not entered the automated sequence to turn it off. But the light could also be warning of some other problem with the engine. You may call this car your baby, but the truth is that it may very well be a high-speed death trap. My concern is that a more serious problem might arise, and then the system which was designed to alert you of a malfunction would fail, being circumvented by you for the sake of a few dollars or a few minutes of your time."

Penny considered for a moment. In his own weird and slightly offensive manner, he was saying he cared about her. "Oh. I guess I never thought about it that way," she said at last."Okay, sweetie, when we get home, I'll look it up and fix the check engine light."

"Good," he replied with satisfaction.

"Good?" she echoed. "What do you mean by that?"

"As my only female friend, I have taken great pains to accommodate you into my routine. It would be a considerable inconvenience if something were to happen to you," he replied seriously.

Penny smiled at how he expressed himself but thanked him anyway. Yeah, he was a whackadoodle, she thought, but once you started to understand him, he really wasn't that bad.

They were almost to their destination when Penny's phone rang. Whoever was on the other end did most of the talking. Penny said "uh-huh" fourteen times before she finally said, "No, it's fine, really. You just do whatever you need to." Once she was off the phone however, her polite facade faded. She scowled and tossed her phone down none too gently.

"You appear to be upset," Sheldon ventured.

"Got it in one, Sherlock," Penny growled. "That was my friend Tracy. She just got dumped by her boyfriend Mike, so she doesn't feel like coming, and obviously he won't be either. That leaves just you, me and Kayla sharing the cabin." She huffed in frustration and her grip tightened on the steering wheel.

"I'm no expert in these matters, but you appear to be unhappy about this development. Am I correct?" he asked.

She glanced at him, surprised. "Yeah, actually, you're right. I don't think Tracy's going to pay for her part of the cabin rental if she's not there. Ditto for Mike. Plus if it's just the three of us, it makes things awkward. I don't want Kayla to think I'm trying to set her up with you. She's not much of a skier either, so I'll probably be hitting the slopes alone, which isn't much fun."

"At the risk of being punched in the throat, I must say I don't believe you would lack for partners - for coitus or otherwise - if you wished companionship."

She scowled at him but fell silent for a moment. After a while, she sighed and said, "The problem is, ever since I met you guys, it's changed something in me. I don't mind hooking up with a guy just because he's hot, but when I think about dating, I can't just go by hotness anymore. Now I wonder if he's smart, and if he can pay his bills and stuff. It sucks," she concluded, wrinkling up her nose.

"That actually sounds like a fairly sound decision-making process," Sheldon said.

Penny whipped her head around and stared at him until he again yelped, "Eyes on the road! Eyes on the road!"

"I can't believe it. Was that actually a compliment, Dr. Cooper?" she stammered after she swerved back into her lane. Fortunately, there were no other cars near them.

"What do you know? I suppose it was," he said, sounding as surprised as she was.

Penny grinned for a moment, but then her smile faded as she thought about what Sheldon had said. "Sound decision making... I know that's what makes sense to you. No offense, sweetie, but when it comes to my love life, that's not what I want. I don't want to settle just because some guy is nice and makes good money. I want romance, passion... I want to be crazy in love."

"You also want to be an actress," he pointed out.

"And just what is that supposed to mean?" she scowled. "Are you telling me to give up on my dreams?"

"Absolutely not. I have first-hand experience that you are a talented thespian. What I am actually suggesting is that you apply yourself. You act as if someone will just come along and hand you your dream job, or that you will meet the love of your life in a chance encounter at some tawdry discotheque. Not only are both of those scenarios highly unlikely, but their occurrence would not align well with your current lifestyle and habits. You are undisciplined and careless. You drink too much and spend all your money on useless frivolities. Such an opportunity would be wasted on you."

He continued in this vein for several minutes, while Penny uncharacteristically kept silent. Finally, she pulled over and put the car in park. She turned to Sheldon, who wrapped up his impromptu speech with, "You may think I find it easy to criticize you, but in truth, I don't understand why you choose to live your life this way. I may not express my feelings well, but I'm giving you my advice because I see where your life is headed, and I don't want to watch you ruin it. Please consider that I speak out of friendship and not malice before you decide to make me walk the rest of the way." He ended with a bit of a squeak.

She rolled her eyes at him. "I stopped because we're here, Sheldon." She opened her car door and got out, only to duck down and poke her head back through the opening. "You've always been honest with me, sweetie, and yeah, sometimes the truth hurts. It seems like you don't care how it affects people when you speak your mind. But the other side of that is that I never have to wonder if you're just telling me what I want to hear." She took a deep breath. "There's no one else in my life that I can trust like that. So I guess what I'm saying is... thanks for being my friend, you whackadoodle."

* * *

Sheldon actually sat still for several minutes in the car while Penny unloaded their luggage. He felt confused and... something else. He had always been under the impression that people in his life tolerated him. He was used to rolled eyes and muttered imprecations. His own mother had once seriously doubted his sanity. For someone to not only accept him but actually see something positive in his behavior was so startling, it was like a revelation. His reverie was interrupted by a sharp rapping on the window. Blond ponytails tumbled into view as Penny leaned down.

"Aren't you coming inside? It's freezing out here."

Yet again, she was taking care of him. Sheldon filed that fact away carefully in his new analysis of his friend as he got out of the car. Shouldering his overnight bag, which Penny had dumped on the front porch, he entered the cabin. The space was rustic, but adequate for his needs. The four bedrooms were sparsely furnished, which suited him just fine. He chose the sole room which contained two twin-sized beds, since that was the size he was used to sleeping in. While Penny saw the absence of her friends as a disadvantage, he saw it as a benefit. He was planning to use one of the other rooms to organize his equipment and set up a space to work. After unpacking his few clothes and toiletries, he went out into the living room to figure out where the best seating area was. He liked to have his own spot, even if the situation was only temporary. It made him feel more comfortable in unfamiliar surroundings.

Penny informed him it would be rude of them to not be there when Kayla arrived, so they sat in companionable silence on the sofa, leafing through magazines. Sheldon was reading the New England Journal of Science and Medicine (a little light reading for his vacation), and Penny was leafing through some fashion magazine in a desultory manner. She had tried the TV first, but some storm system was wreaking havoc with the reception. After a while, she looked up at him.

"Hey, look at us. You with your magazine, me with mine… we're like an old married couple," she teased with a grin.

"If we were married, the wife would bring tea and cookies," Sheldon replied.

"I don't have any tea and cookies."

"A good wife would go to the store," he snipped without looking up from his reading.

Penny sighed and tossed her magazine down onto the coffee table. "Yeah, I'm hungry too. It's getting late, and Kayla still hasn't gotten back to me." She checked her phone again for what seemed the hundredth time. "Let's just go get dinner. We can leave her a note."

"It's Friday night," Sheldon said. "Dinner should be pizza with sausage, pepperoni and light olives. I've found two restaurants within a five mile radius that have satisfactory customer reviews."

"We can do that, as long as you promise not to ask to inspect their kitchen."

"But Penny-"

"Or we can just order takeout. I hear there's a good Indian place nearby," she said with a shrug, fighting to keep the grin off her face. Sometimes it was just way too much fun to mess with Sheldon and his precious schedule.

He stared at her. "You wouldn't," he uttered in tones of loathing.

She stepped close until she was staring up into his face. "Try me," she dared.

He held her gaze for several seconds before looking away. "Fine. You win, but if we get food poisoning, it's all on you."

"Great! Let's go!" Penny cried gleefully as she dashed off to get her coat. With a sigh, he followed. He couldn't understand how Penny managed to win so many of their disagreements. In a strange way, it reminded him of his mother. She also had no more than an average IQ, yet she was never at a disadvantage in an argument with him. As he stared bemusedly at Penny's retreating back, he wondered if he had been underestimating her.


	2. Chapter 2

At the pizza place, Penny finally got a text from her friend Kayla. As Sheldon watched her read the message, her face fell. "Oh, crap. Kayla says she has the flu. She was so sick that she just crawled into bed and fell asleep. She just now got around to letting me know."

"I, for one, am very glad she decided not to spread her contagion," Sheldon said haughtily.

"Yeah, but now this weekend really sucks," she complained.

"As I have mentioned previously, your success at finding partners, romantic or otherwise..."

"No, it's not that," Penny interrupted. "The thing is, we were supposed to split the cost of the cabin four ways - five including you - but no one paid up front. So it looks like I'm gonna have to eat the cost of this whole stupid weekend, and I really, really can't afford to." She slouched down in her side of the booth, appearing, even to Sheldon's oblivious gaze, to be visibly upset.

He thought for a moment. Although he had never approved of the way Penny handled her money, he couldn't fault her for trusting her friends, even if they had proven themselves to be unworthy of her trust. "Under the circumstances, it seems only fair that I pay for half of our cabin, since there are now only two of us," he offered.

Penny thanked him, but his offer didn't seem to improve her mood. He surmised that her finances could ill afford even this small unexpected expenditure. The idea made him uncomfortable. He was forcibly reminded of his impoverished childhood. There were many times when his father had once again gotten fired, and his mother scraped and saved and tried to make every dollar stretch twice as far. He didn't want to contribute to a situation like that if he could help it. He had a sizeable nest egg in the bank; he simply had to come up with a logical rationale for Penny to accept his help. Such a simple dilemma hardly taxed his mental capacities.

"I could use some assistance setting up my equipment for the meteorology experiment," he said. "If you would be willing to sacrifice some of your leisure time, I would compensate you by covering the balance of what you expected your friends to pay."

Penny gaped at him for a moment, then shook her head as color crept up her face. "I can't let you do that," she muttered, looking away.

He frowned. "Why not? How is this any different from pirating our WiFi, or allowing the four of us to pay for your takeout?"

"Wait, you all pay for my food?"

"Yes. Although I would prefer to calculate the cost precisely, the others insist that we each simply contribute a few dollars. The remainder of that imprecise calculation is added to the tip."

She was looking at him strangely. "Leonard's the one who has the crush on me. I thought he was the one who kept buying me dinner, you know, like that fake date he tried to set up."

"For several months after you moved in, he did pay for your meals. However, once it became apparent that you had no romantic interest in him, he began talking about asking you to contribute. I told him that was unacceptable, since your financial situation had not improved, and your presence had become part of my routine."

"And that worked?" Penny asked incredulously.

"Not until I reminded him of the elevator incident," Sheldon said, looking smug.

Penny sat up and leaned forward. "What's the elevator incident?" she asked with a grin. It sure sounded like there was a good story in there somewhere. Ten minutes later, she found out her instincts had been right. She could easily believe that Howard would do something like "borrow" a top-secret military prototype from work. What shocked her more was that Leonard was actually the one who had done something truly illegal by stealing the experimental rocket fuel. He had only been prevented from handing it over to a North Korean spy through Sheldon's clueless interference. Then later, Leonard almost killed himself and possibly everyone else in the building by messing around with the fuel, and all so they could play with Howard's engine like it was some souped-up toy. Again, Sheldon had been the one to step in and save him.

"I can't believe it! They'd all be dead if it wasn't for you!" she cried when he had finished his tale.

Sheldon was so pleased by the awed and flattering way she was looking at him that he decided to ignore her improper grammar. "Yes. Once I refreshed their faulty memories, they each agreed to chip in a few dollars so you could continue to eat with us… whenever you weren't working or out on a date with some ignorant Neanderthal, that is."

Penny finally shook her head. "Just when you think you know a person…" she muttered.

"So under the aforementioned circumstances, are you willing to accept my offer?" Sheldon pressed.

Penny shook her head again as her mouth curved into a wry smile. "Okay. All right," she said, lifting her hands in a gesture of surrender. "I'll help you with your experiment."

"You can help by _carrying_ the equipment," he retorted.

Penny just grinned and shook her head.

* * *

They set out early the next morning. The place where Sheldon wanted to set up his experiment was remote and halfway up a deserted slope. It looked like the area had once been used for skiing, as they followed a clear-cut path still dotted with support columns for a lift. After deliberating for a long time, Sheldon finally decided on a location after consulting a compass and his smart phone.

It took hours to place the monitoring devices. Penny would have just plunked them down in the snow, but Sheldon measured everything precisely and at least twice. Then he would have her move one of the devices over an inch or so, and the whole process would start all over again. Penny thought of the money he was paying her and bit the inside of her cheek so she wouldn't yell at him.

At last, he was satisfied with the placement and stood looking around, taking in the view from the snowy mountain side for the first time. His face softened as he reached out and touched a snow-covered evergreen branch.

"It rarely got cold enough to snow in Texas," he volunteered. "Once in a while, we'd get a few flurries, but not enough to..." He suddenly broke off with a frown.

"Not enough to play in?" Penny asked, coming up beside him.

"There is no scientific value in play," he scoffed unconvincingly.

"Riiiight. That's why your apartment is stuffed to the gills with comic books and trains and video games," Penny said. "Because you don't believe in playing."

Sheldon opened his mouth to answer and got a faceful of loosely packed snow. He shrieked in outrage, and Penny giggled and darted around another fir tree, already gathering another snowball.

"Woman, you are messing with forces beyond your ken!" he howled.

Penny answered with another cold wet missile, which hit him on the shoulder. "Your Ken can kiss my Barbie!" she yelled back.

Soon, there was a full-fledged snowball war going on. Penny threw with much greater force, but Sheldon had precise aim and seemed to move almost silently over the snow, now packed down by their criss-crossing tracks.

Then Penny changed tactics and switched to junior rodeo mode. She rushed Sheldon, who froze in apprehension, and toppled him over into a clean bank of powder. While he was still spluttering, she sat on his chest and rubbed his face with snow, then jumped up and ran off laughing.

Moments later, Sheldon managed to grab her with one lanky arm and pull her off balance. She went down with an indignant shriek, but when he tried to repeat her trick, he found she wasn't about to give in gracefully. Even prone, she was able to stuff snow down the collar of his coat as he tried to pin her flailing arms. When he finally had both her wrists in a tight grasp, stretched above her head, he found he had an entirely different problem.

He had been having fun, running around and playing as he had never done as a child. Yet now there was a distinctly unchildlike sensation hammering in his chest as he straddled Penny. He felt more alive than he could ever remember, and as he looked down at her, he realized on a visceral level how beautiful she was. Her cheeks were pink, and her hazel eyes sparkled at him. His instincts urged him to claim Penny somehow, to make her his. His confusion was obvious as he hesitated. As he watched, Penny seemed to sense some of his internal dilemma. She had stopped fighting him, and now her eyes seemed huge and dark as she stared up at him. He felt hypnotized by her gaze and leaned closer by just the smallest degree.

Suddenly, he was tossed aside with embarrassing ease as Penny once again put her junior rodeo experience to good use. Before he knew what was happening, she was on her feet, brushing snow off her coat and not meeting his eyes.

"Come on, Sheldon. We need to get going. I'm missing out on the slopes, and you probably want to read an encyclopedia or something."

He decided not to tell her that he had perfect recall of several versions of encyclopedias in his head. "Perhaps I will stay here and monitor my experiment," he said.

Immediately, she turned back to him, frowning. "Sweetie, it's literally freezing out here, and didn't you tell me your experiment needed to run for 24 hours before you could collect any data?"

He was impressed in spite of himself, both at her correct use of the term "literally" and that she had paid attention when he was talking about his experiment. "I... I suppose that my presence here is not strictly necessary," he admitted. He was loathe to leave the peaceful calm of the wooded slope. It seemed the ideal place to be alone with his thoughts so he could analyze his strange reaction to Penny's proximity. Perhaps he shouldn't have given in to her whimsy and participated in the snowball fight, but she often had that effect on him. During the past two years, he found himself doing many things that went far beyond the bounds of his neatly ordered existence, and the whirlwind of chaos that was Penny was usually both cause and epicenter.


	3. Chapter 3

Penny took the lead as they walked back down the mountainside in silence, careful to follow their previously broken path through the knee-deep snow. On returning to their cabin, she disappeared to change into her ski outfit, which was brightly colored and somehow accentuated her figure despite its heavy padding. Sheldon, after a quick glance, was certain that she would attract every muscle-bound Neanderthal on the slopes. For some reason, that thought irritated him.

"It is difficult enough for me to achieve sufficient REM sleep in an unfamiliar place," he said, not looking up from his magazine. "So if you intend to engage in coitus with a random stranger, I would prefer that you not do so here."

Penny felt a flash of anger at his words. "No problem," she snapped as she stormed out. "You've made it clear this is going to be the fun-free zone." As soon as she was outside, she regretted what she had said. She actually did have fun with Sheldon earlier, but she couldn't seem to make him understand how much his judgmental attitude hurt her. In many ways, he led a charmed life. He was living his dream, and his life was exactly the way he wanted it. Her life, on the other hand, was pathetic. Sheldon had no idea what it was like to watch your dreams slip a little further away each day, to come home from your less-than-minimum-wage job to an apartment you could barely afford, to have friends drift away once you couldn't pay for a round of drinks on a regular basis. So yeah, she took her fun however she could get it, anything to take her mind off how crappy her life was.

Several months ago, she had flashed the landlord so he wouldn't raise her rent. It was not her finest moment, and her lease was almost up again. Despite what Sheldon may have thought of her, she always had too much pride to sleep with a director for a part. But certain realities were beginning to press in on her. She'd been letting the guys pay for her meals, piggybacked off their Wi-Fi and cable (Howard had hooked her up) and still wasn't treading water.

 _I'm drowning_ , Penny thought suddenly. _I can't keep this up much longer_. There was always Leonard, of course. Sweet and over-eager with a permanently damaged self-esteem, she knew if she started dating him, he wouldn't let her go without. So far, she had resisted his unsubtle hints and wistful, worshipful looks. She didn't want nice, awful as that sounded. Kurt hadn't really been a nice guy; he'd been an arrogant, self-assured SOB, and that was kind of her type. Well, except for the whole cheating thing. Penny wasn't some sheltered princess; she was a junior rodeo champ. She wasn't the delicate flower Leonard seemed to think, and she didn't want him to take care of her. It made her feel nauseated just to think about it, but her life was rapidly narrowing down to only a few options.

As she hit the slopes that afternoon, Penny kept thinking about her life, about what she really wanted. Privately, she had to admit that if Sheldon had seemed to have any kind of deal beside his whiteboards when they first met, her life might be very different right now. Yup, he was definitely a nerd, and no, none of her former friends would understand that she actually liked the way he pushed her buttons and challenged her. The fact that she had only an average IQ made every victory over Sheldon all the more sweet, while Leonard, with his cringing neediness, would just let her sink to the lowest level, like a rock in a pond. The only thing he really had to recommend him over Sheldon was that he actually wanted to have sex, limited though his experience may be in that area. As she glided down the slopes, Penny was so preoccupied with her thoughts that she completely ignored a number of cute guys who smiled at her or offered to help her carry her ski poles.

By late afternoon, she had worked up an appetite. She wondered what she could scrounge up for dinner, then winced as she remembered that she never did drive Sheldon to the grocery store. So instead of hanging out at the bar in the ski lodge, she hurried back to her tall, somewhat annoying friend.

She found him reading a magazine while listening to something on his phone. It was only when he removed his earbuds that she realized he had been listening to some physics lecture at the same time that he was reading a scientific journal. It was easy for her to focus on his quirks: his arrogance and germophobia and obsessive need for order. Sometimes she forgot how truly, mind-bogglingly brilliant he really was. It made her feel depressed for reasons she didn't care to examine too closely.

* * *

At the grocery store, Sheldon lectured her on the different varieties of parsnips and the science behind product placement on store shelves. Penny tolerated it with more forbearance than she usually displayed. Had she but known, Sheldon was wondering why she had suddenly become such a pleasant companion, and almost wishing that she hadn't. His strange reaction to Penny's proximity earlier that day still left him feeling unsettled.

Upon returning to their cabin, Penny helped chop vegetables while Sheldon prepared dinner. She watched over his shoulder, fascinated, as he worked with deft motions.

"I didn't know you could cook," she said.

"My Meemaw taught me," he answered. "It was a matter of survival. Spaghetti with hot dogs was one of the few meals my mother could make without burning something." A short time later, he slid a perfectly cooked omelet onto a plate and placed it in front of her.

Penny didn't hesitate to dig in. At her first bite, she almost moaned with pleasure. "Holy crap, Sheldon. This is the best thing I've eaten in years!"

He joined her at the counter, drawing up another stool. He was confused by the fact that his enjoyment of the meal was greatly enhanced by her appreciation of it. Casting around for a topic of conversation, he asked, "Have you been monitoring the weather reports?"

"Uh, no... not really," she answered. "Why?"

"A storm system is supposed to come through late tomorrow prevening, bringing an accumulation of up to 12 inches of snow."

The corners of her mouth twitched when he said "prevening". He knew, because he was watching her closely, still trying to puzzle out the odd feelings she had awakened.

"Figures it would snow just as we have to go home," Penny grumbled. "Why do we have to go back? I could just stay here forever, you know?" She looked over at Sheldon's bewildered face and laughed. "Never mind. I'm sure you have no idea what I mean."

"Enlighten me," he commanded.

Penny's eyebrows shot up. "I guess I kind of like it when it's just the two of us. You've been way nicer than I expected. I wish..." she stopped, shaking her head.

"What?" he asked curiously.

"I wish I could meet someone who liked me a little more like you do," she said quietly. She was assiduously avoiding his gaze as she said it.

"I cannot argue with your conclusion, but I must admit your logic escapes me," he replied.

She gave a little smile at that. "I mean you know I'm pretty, but that's not why you hang around... and that's really the only reason guys like me."

Sheldon frowned thoughtfully as he poked at his omelet with his fork. "I have discovered a similar dynamic to our friendship which is most puzzling. While you admire my superior intellect, you are not in a position to benefit by it, except to occasionally ask my assistance in tasks like hooking up your stereo, which certainly does not require an IQ of 187," he said.

"Yeah. I guess we're both each other's exceptions," Penny said, holding his gaze. She put her hand on his arm, and it felt different: not uncomfortable at all, and yet his heart started to race. Her eyes seemed to darken as she looked at him, and she slowly leaned toward him. He was unable to break their gaze, both terrified and exhilarated by the way she looked at him.

Suddenly, Penny jerked back, cheeks flaming. "I… uh…" She glanced around desperately, then picked up her plate with half her dinner still on it. Depositing the plate by the sink, she said, "Thanks for dinner, sweetie. It was really delicious. I'm just too full to finish it." 

Still pink-cheeked with embarrassment, Penny retreated to her room.

"No, _this_ is what going insane feels like," she muttered to herself, and then instantly blamed her geeky neighbors for getting her hooked on _Firefly_. Had she really just been about to put the moves on Sheldon? Maybe the cold had fried her brain. Maybe it had just been too long since she'd scratched that particular itch. Maybe she was finally going to find out the meaning behind that adorable, shy smile Sheldon had given her on the first day they'd met. No… no. That couldn't happen. He was so not her type. She thought again about the way he had tackled her on the mountaintop, and the way his eyes had darkened with an emotion other than irritation. Hell, no, she was not falling for Sheldon. Realizing what she had just admitted, if only to herself, she flopped down on her bed with a moan. She tried desperately to summon up all her usual frustrations with him over his pickiness and how he talked too much. It didn't work. Hugging her pillow, she stared at the ceiling and hoped the world would right itself soon.

* * *

Penny stayed in her room the remainder of the evening. Her behavior was decidedly odd, and Sheldon could attribute it to no specific cause. Then again, he had long ago given up on trying to make sense of Penny. The most curious thing was this strange new tension between them. Her comments over dinner seemed to indicate that their friendship had grown stronger. Then had come that strange moment when the look in her eyes made his pulse race and his palms sweat. The next thing he knew, she had disappeared, choosing to spend the night in her room rather than interact with him. It was too bad, he reflected, because he had brought an excellent selection of classic sci-fi movies which he hoped she would enjoy. All alone, he watched the original version of The Day The Earth Stood Still, but it wasn't nearly as much fun by himself. He went to bed at precisely ten PM, casting a long, unhappy glance at Penny's closed door before he retreated to his own room.

His REM sleep was disturbed by strange dreams, the kind that were the most distressing to him. They were dreams in which he found himself doing things he would never do in real life, in which he was naked and caressing a woman with shining blonde tresses. He awoke in the middle of the night to a sticky mess while his body still pulsed with its release. This was deeply disconcerting, since it had been over a decade since he had experienced this sort of lack of control. He decided to blame it on the strange environment and unfamiliar food. After he had washed up and changed into his emergency spare pajamas, he lay in bed, wondering what was happening to him. It was a long time before he finally fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Sheldon awoke to find it was past seven o'clock. He bolted upright with a start, his unsettling dream forgotten in his concern for his experiment. Rushing to the window, he saw that it was already snowing heavily, thick clumps of white drifting down endlessly. He completely forgot about Penny's atypical behavior in his worry over the expensive scientific instruments he had left up on the mountainside. If a blizzard really was imminent, he needed to retrieve his equipment quickly. He pulled on his clothes in haste.

It took a few moments for him to work up the nerve to knock on Penny's door. He was well aware that she wasn't a morning person, and she'd threatened him with physical violence often enough to make him wary. Fortunately, Penny only grumbled sleepily as he called her name three times, rapping on her wooden headboard. She pulled a robe on over her skimpy pajamas. She didn't fasten it, leaving all sorts of interesting glimpses of smooth skin exposed as she stumbled out to the kitchen and turned on the coffeemaker. Sheldon tried his best not to hover or fidget, but if the annoyed looks Penny cast his way were any indication, he wasn't succeeding.

Finally, he could bear it no longer. "Penny, it has been twenty minutes since you got up, and you aren't even dressed. May I remind you that my equipment is very valuable, and..."

"Hey, I'd think real hard before finishing that sentence if I were you," she interrupted. "I could still be curled up in bed, dreaming that I was hanging out on Ashton Kutcher's yacht. And if you cared so much about your precious science stuff, how come you slept in?"

Sheldon hesitated as he thought about the tantalizing dreams which had disturbed his sleep. Watching him, Penny snorted in disbelief (or perhaps disgust - he rarely could tell what she was feeling). Leaving her mug by the sink, she walked off, tossing a muttered, "I'm getting dressed," over her shoulder.

Sheldon cleaned and dried her coffee mug. By the time he had put it away in the cabinet and sanitized the sink and counters, Penny reappeared, bundled up in her winter gear.

"Let's get this over with," she sighed.

It was harder to get to the site than they had anticipated. The snow had already piled up to mid-thigh level, and it kept coming down heavily. They could barely find their trail from the day before. By the time Sheldon's equipment was packed up, the wind was howling in their ears and making their eyes water fiercely. They were covered in white like two snowmen. They stowed the equipment so hurriedly that Sheldon didn't even bother to try to check his results. The visibility was worsening by the minute. It was so bad that Sheldon had to take Penny's hand as they started the trek back. He hated to admit to a lapse in judgment, but they never should've gone out in the blizzard. The weather conditions were becoming increasingly dangerous. Their trail had completely filled in by this point. They stopped once while Sheldon cupped a numb, mitten-clad hand around his compass.

"That way," he yelled, pointing. He couldn't tell if Penny even heard him above the din of the storm. They took turns breaking a trail through hip-deep snow. Sheldon knew they should have intersected the road by this point. We must have wandered off course, he thought with a dizzying rush of fear. At that moment, Penny stumbled and pitched forward. Making his way over to her side, Sheldon tried to rouse her, but she was only half-conscious and mumbling gibberish.

Sheldon quickly realized that Penny's ski jacket and other accessories were designed to be more fashionable than practical. He doubted any of it had a subzero temperature rating. It was too late to do anything about it now. He knew that Penny's disorientation and drowsiness were symptoms of hypothermia. With only a twinge of regret, he dumped the heavy monitoring equipment onto the snow. Then he pulled the heavy backpack off Penny's shoulders. Putting his arm around her waist, he dragged her forward, trying desperately not to panic.

After what seemed like forever, Sheldon found something. Actually, he almost walked right into the white-coated obstacle before he was close enough to see it in the driving snow. It was the rough exterior wall of some sort of cabin. He made his way around to the door, which fortunately was located on the lee side of the cabin so he didn't have to contend with drifts. The door was locked, but there was one small window next to the door. He shattered the glass with an elbow and knocked out the remaining shards. Fumbling about with numbed hands, he eventually reached the lock on the door and yanked it open, dragging Penny in after him.

Even out of the wind, it was still freezing cold inside. The structure was littered with broken furniture and discarded equipment parts, and had apparently been used as more of a storage shed than a cabin. There was a fireplace, but nothing with which to start a fire. Finally, Sheldon found a pair of old, moth-eaten sleeping bags. They were all he had to keep them warm. Logically, he knew that the best way to stave off hypothermia was for both of them to wrap up together in the sleeping bags. They would have to shed all of their wet clothing in order to conserve what little body heat was left. Sheldon shivered, perhaps more from nerves than cold, but another glance at Penny's bloodless complexion convinced him. He unzipped the sleeping bags and stripped off Penny's clothes as quickly as he could. Then he quickly wrapped her the improvised blanket, trying his best to keep her covered. He spread out her damp clothes on the floor in vain hope that they might dry in the frigid air. It was his turn, and his uneasiness coalesced into something that made his hands shake and his vision swim… or was he also suffering from hypothermia? No, he knew hypothermia wouldn't make his heart pound hard in his chest or cause him to feel a rush of heat that went straight to his groin. There was no longer any denying that he was attracted to her, and that terrified him. But he had no choice. It was either bundle up with her, skin to skin, or else both of them could freeze to death.

Shoving aside his feelings-his inappropriate and unwanted feelings-he quickly peeled off his own sopping layers, using one balled-up shirt to plug the hole in the broken window. As quickly as possible, he got into the sleeping bags which he had zipped together to make one large blanket. Gingerly, he wrapped his arms around Penny and twisted until her back rested against his chest, and he held her arms crossed in front of her body. With a lurch, he rolled them both over a couple of times. Surveying his work, one corner of his mouth lifted briefly in satisfaction. They were wrapped up tightly, as far as possible from the icy draft from the broken window.

But now he became aware of a different problem. Penny was still as cold as a marble statue, but no stone had ever felt so soft or smelled so sweet. He gritted his teeth, trying frantically to bring to mind some complex physics conundrum, but his thoughts refused to cooperate. All he could think about was how much he wanted to stroke her soft skin. He was pressed against her with what seemed like licentious indecency, bound by the constricting folds of their makeshift blanket. He couldn't even withdraw his hands from around her waist. He tried, but the squirming only further roused a certain part of his anatomy which had first begun to stir when he undressed her. He could do nothing except lie motionless in that position for what felt like hours.

Eventually, he dozed off, only to be subjected to some of the most erotic dreams he'd ever had. When he awoke, the blankets had apparently loosened somewhat because he found his hand was cupping her breast. He yanked his hand back, horrified, and began to recite the digits of pi in his head. It was no use. She smelled like sunshine and honey, and he fought the urge to press his lips against the soft skin of her neck and find out what she tasted like. He desperately hoped she would wake up and say something ridiculously ignorant or chew her food with her mouth open (not that they had food) to remind him of all the reasons she irritated him. Instead, after some interminable length of time, she murmured sleepily and shifted, rubbing against him. It was too much for Sheldon, and an inarticulate cry escaped him. At this sound, Penny startled awake and looked around in complete confusion.

"It's all right; we're safe," Sheldon murmured rather shakily in her ear, awkwardly patting her arm.

"Sheldon?" Penny asked, sounding confused. "Holy crap on a cracker, what are we doing here? Why am I naked? Did you roofie me?" she cried, sounding increasingly panicked as she struggled futilely to escape.

Sheldon gritted his teeth and fought for control as she writhed against him. "Be quiet and listen!" he cried frantically. "We were caught in the blizzard and lost our way. You became delirious, and I could barely drag you along. We were fortunate to find this abandoned shed to take shelter from the storm. Wrapping the two of us together in these blankets sans clothing was the only way to prevent us both from succumbing to hypothermia."

She had stopped thrashing around when he began speaking. After a pause, she said, "Okay, yeah, I think some of it's coming back to me now. Um, I'm sorry about what I said about you drugging me. I was just freaked out." She was silent for a moment, then said, "So, uh... this is really awkward, huh?"

That was better, he thought. A few more annoyingly vague statements from Penny, and perhaps he could reverse this strange reaction his body was having toward her. "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about," he retorted haughtily, with every intention of picking a fight to distract himself. But Penny didn't fight fair. She wriggled sinuously, arching her backside against his erection and causing him to gasp. "Fine. You want to play it that way? Pretend all you want, but you can't hide the fact that you really do have a deal."

"Penny, you must desist from moving around," he said, trying to sound stern. He only succeeded in sounding panicked.

"Why are you so afraid of feeling something?" she asked quietly, twisting until she could look him in the eye. He bit his lip hard as her body brushed against his. "Especially something normal like this that everyone feels? Haven't you ever wanted to have a girlfriend?"

"What would I possibly want with a girlfriend?"

"For this," she answered, trailing her fingers down his bare arm. He shuddered as she touched him, but it wasn't an unpleasant sensation. With every passing moment, it was more difficult to keep his hands from fanning out over her body. He was acutely aware of every place where their bodies were touching, from her hair softly tickling his shoulder to her toes resting along the arch of his foot. His heart was pounding, and he knew he was in trouble.


	5. Chapter 5

Sheldon was half convinced his head was going to explode. A combination of bad luck and poor decisions had resulted in this bizarre situation in which he and Penny were lying naked in each other's arms in a cocoon of moth-eaten sleeping bags. Incredibly, instead of being angry with him, Penny seemed to be making advances toward him. If she had just tried to kiss him, he might have been able to withstand her allure. Instead, she was talking to him, once again treating him like a person instead of some barely tolerable freak. He was grateful for his eidetic memory, without which he would have had no idea what she had just asked him: Why are you so afraid of feeling something? Especially something normal like this that everyone feels? Haven't you ever wanted to kiss a girl or have a girlfriend?

He swallowed hard. In the past, he had dealt with Penny by lecturing her or acting as if she was beneath him. He caught his breath sharply at the unintended double entendre. Then he sniffed in a way designed to let her know he wasn't affected by her proximity, although they were pressed too closely together for her to mistake his arousal. "Of course, I experience the same hormonally driven evolutionary mandate as any other male. I just choose not to be ruled by base instinct. I am Homo novus. I'm above such things."

She thought for a moment. "I don't get it. If you're going off of evolution, shouldn't you want to… you know, reproduce?"

"As I have said, I am not the same species as the rest of humanity, so it would pointless and illogical to attempt to do so."

Penny huffed, sounding irritated. After a moment, she said, "I'm going to tell you something. It's not exactly a secret, but I will hunt you down and kick your ass if you tell anyone else. Got it?"  
That sounded remarkably like a secret to him, but he nodded anyway. "Got it," he echoed.

"When I was little, I used to pretend I was a princess. When I had to do chores I didn't want to, I told myself I was like Cinderella, slaving away for a cruel stepmother. And when other girls in my class were mean to me, I used to tell myself that someday they would find out I was really a princess in disguise and have to bow down to me."

"Clearly, your delusions of grandeur started at an early age," Sheldon said.

Penny scowled (somehow he knew she was frowning, even though it was too dark to see her face) and promptly said, "Shut up; I do have a point. Telling myself I was a princess was my way of making the bad times in my life more bearable. Just like you tell yourself that you're a different species. But we both know it's not really true. The thing is, I grew up and stopped playing make-believe a long time ago. Why are you still doing it?"

There was a lengthy pause. Sheldon may love to lecture people, but talking about personal subjects was something he rarely did. He hated talking about his feelings, but if he didn't keep up his end of the conversation, he had no idea what he might do with, and to, the warm and willing female in his arms. So he replied, "I lack a certain finesse when it comes to dealing with people. Most of them choose to either ignore, deride or despise me. Leonard, Howard and Raj are the rare exceptions who do not fall wholly into any of those categories, and even they don't often appreciate my presence. Telling myself I am a separate and more advanced species makes it easier to distance myself from the way people treat me."

Penny lay still in Sheldon's arms, wanting desperately to ease the pain she heard in his voice. She didn't know what to say. Although she had brought up her past, it had been so long since she had dealt with grade-school bullies that she had forgotten how it felt to be made fun of. And it was true that even Sheldon's so-called friends were often cruel to him. She'd always thought of their ragging on each other as just a familiar teasing. She had even started to participate, and now she winced to think of some of the things she'd said to the guys in the past. "I'm sorry, sweetie," she said softly. "I know sometimes I make fun of you, but I never meant to hurt your feelings."

"Hurt my feelings? Don't be ridiculous," he scoffed. "Of all my friends, you are often the least offensive. In fact, I often find your behavior toward me to be incomprehensible. You remind me of my mother or my sister in some ways, and yet..." He faltered. "And yet I never found either of them so confusing. They interact with me because I am family, but neither of them causes me to feel the strange urge to seek out their presence. In fact, I find myself coming over to knock on your door and talk to you on the flimsiest of excuses. I suppose one could say that my own behavior is irrational... which is impossible, because I am the soul of rationality."

Penny grinned and refrained from bringing up his fear of chickens. But then her smile faded. She knew why Sheldon was acting so strange, even if he didn't. Any other time, she would have been tempted to just let the matter drop, but not after he had been so open with her. Not after she had been forced to admit that she had feelings for him too. Besides, she could only imagine the rude awakening and the teasing that would follow if Sheldon had confessed these thoughts to any of his friends.

"Have you ever had these feelings around any other girl?" she asked gently.

"Of course not," he retorted.

Penny sighed. This wasn't going to be easy. Might as well get it over all at once, like ripping off a band-aid, she thought. "I think you're attracted to me."

Of course, Sheldon immediately launched into what promised to be a lengthy rant on why she was so wrong. Maybe it was because she was exhausted or maybe she was just fed up with him, but she found herself reaching up to both silence him and prove her point with a simple action. He froze as her lips brushed his. As a first kiss, it would have gone a lot better if he hadn't been so rigid with shock. Penny instantly started to regret what she had done as Sheldon remained silent.

"Sweetie, I'm sor-" She never got to finish her sentence because he suddenly reached out, laying his palm against the side of her face. She had been struggling with her growing attraction to him all weekend. Now she decided to just go for it. She responded instinctively and met him halfway he leaned toward her. This time, his mouth was soft on hers, and she coaxed a gasp out of him as her arms went around his neck, pulling him closer. She took the first teasing lick at his mouth. He tensed up, so she began to trail kisses down his neck, nibbling and sucking gently until he groaned. His hands rested at either side of her waist, where he couldn't resist stroking her soft skin and marveling at the way it made him feel to touch her.

"It's okay. You can touch me if you want," she whispered.

His hands stilled, and then balled into fists. "We can't do this," he said in a low voice. "You must be aware that Leonard-"

"Leonard isn't here right now, and I don't want him to be," Penny said. She lifted her face to his. "You're the one I want," she said simply, as she suited words to actions and kissed him again.

Sheldon felt as if every nerve in his body was on fire, but in a way that felt deliciously good. His hands flitted nervously before settling near her waist again. Soon he was pressing her closer as their kissing became more passionate. Sheldon had never kissed a woman before, yet despite his lack of experience, he was a fast learner. His eidetic memory meant that he could remember exactly what he had been doing that made Penny moan or give a tantalizing little gasp. Her reaction encouraged him to begin to touch her. He took his time, exploring every part of her body that he could reach with his hands or mouth. He had never followed his instincts like this before, and it occurred to him that Penny was probably the only woman in the world that he would ever be able to trust in this way. For once, he stopped analyzing what was happening and surrendered to the sensations that threatened to overwhelm him. Soon, Penny curled one slender leg around his hip and whispered, "Take me, Sheldon," into his ear. He plunged into her depths and began to understand why men believed in heaven as she moved with him. All too soon, he had come undone and burst into a million pieces that coalesced into someone who was not quite the same as before.

After a few moments of floating in a bemused haze, Sheldon's mind resumed its usual patter of thought. It didn't take long for him to realize that he had been less than an ideal lover: he had left Penny unsatisfied. When he asked her about it, though, she just snuggled against him and said, "I don't mind. I've never been anyone's first time before." In a few minutes, though, she took his hands in hers and guided them downward, showing him how to touch her. It gave Sheldon a peculiar feeling of pride to bring her to climax, and she drifted off to sleep cuddled up against him.

After about half an hour, Penny stirred and opened her eyes. Unaccountably, she blushed when she looked at him. "You don't regret what we did, do you?" she whispered, wide-eyed.

"At this moment, your presence is the only thing in my life which seems to have any permanence. It's as if nothing else matters. I know that isn't true, but you fill my mind so completely. Is this why Leonard and Howard and Raj are so relentless in their pursuit of coitus?" he asked naively.

Penny winced a little at that remark. "I guess that depends on whether you're thinking about me or just about how soon you can get laid again."

He swallowed nervously. "I'm not sure how I can separate those two distinctions."

"Oh. Well, normally if you like the person you just slept with, you make plans to see them again. If you think it was a huge mistake, you just avoid their texts until they get the hint," Penny said sadly.

"You are already an integral part of my life, so I'm not sure either of those options apply. Is there a third alternative?" Sheldon asked.

Penny was slow to answer. After a long pause, she said, "We can pretend this never happened."

"If we were not in such a compromising position, I would say that might be for the best," Sheldon replied gravely. "However, I'm certain I can't ignore the effect that your form _en deshabille_ is having on me."

Penny didn't know French, but it was hard to mistake his gist when he couldn't hide his body's response to her. "Oh, to hell with it," she muttered. "We'll figure it out later." And she pulled his lips down to hers once more.

That was the last time they tried to figure out where things stood between them. Instead, they talked about inconsequential things in between bouts of lovemaking. As the last glimmer of light coming in through the window faded to black, they fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms.


	6. Chapter 6

There was just one tiny window in the cramped cabin, and as the hours passed, stars started to appear, framed by the rough wood. Eventually, Sheldon woke to a pale diffuse light filtering through the cabin and knew it must be morning. Somewhat reluctantly, he reached out to check if their clothes had dried. Yesterday, he had spread them out, hoping that the extremely low humidity of the frigid air would wick some of the moisture from their clothing. Everything was still damp, but they couldn't stay in this cabin much longer. Without food, their bodies would struggle to maintain core temperature. They were still in real danger. He woke Penny and explained the situation to her. She touched his face, and he pulled away, not certain he could force himself to leave if she touched him again. Instead, he rolled out of the blankets and pulled on his icy clothing as quickly as he could. Penny did the same, cursing under her breath at the glacial chill in the air. Sheldon had to shove hard against a rim of ice at the bottom of the door frame to get the cabin door open. He saw that the snow had stopped falling, and the skies were beginning to clear. Turning around, he found Penny standing close behind him.

"The snow has ceased, at least for the moment. We need to find our way back to the ski resort before the weather becomes inclement again," he said.

"Yeah, I guess so," Penny said quietly.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

She gave him an inscrutable look - although all of her expressions were difficult for him to decipher - and then suddenly rose up on her tiptoes and kissed him. Her lips were soft and yielding beneath his, and somehow it felt like their very first kiss. She pulled away slowly and searched his face, but Sheldon didn't know what she was looking for.

"All right; let's go," she said tersely and waded out into the snow.

Once they were outside, Sheldon was able to navigate using his compass and his memory of the surrounding terrain. All of their clothing was still damp, but the exertion of breaking through thigh-deep snow kept them warm. After a few hours, they finally made it back to their rented cabin. The roads had been plowed, but Penny's car was nothing more than a slight bump in the white expanse that covered the driveway. Penny groaned when she saw it. Shoveling out her car would take hours of labor, requiring energy she simply didn't possess.

They staggered into the cabin, half-frozen, hungry, and exhausted. Sheldon took charge once they were inside. He instructed Penny to go take a hot shower and then change into dry clothes. By the time she was dressed, he had already finished his own shower and had soup heating up on the stove. They sat at the rustic table, eating in silence. Penny smiled to herself at the way Sheldon's hair, still wet from his shower, curled at the nape of his neck.

"I've contacted the management of the ski resort," he said, breaking the awkward silence. "The woman I spoke to was unaware that we were still here. She wanted to charge us for an additional night until I told her that we had gotten lost and almost died of hypothermia. The end result of our conversation is that someone from the maintenance staff will be along shortly to clear the driveway of snow so we can leave."

Penny was so exhausted that she felt tears welling up in her eyes at this unexpected fortune, which lead Sheldon to ask in a panicky voice if she was ill.

"No, just tired," she replied with a wan smile. She went back to her room, crawled under the covers and was instantly asleep.

* * *

Sheldon washed their dishes before also retiring to his room, although not without an uncertain glance at Penny's door. He fell into a restless sleep and awoke hours later still feeling tired. As if by magic, the driveway and Penny's car had been cleared of snow while they slept through the afternoon. Sheldon loaded his bags into the trunk and left instructions with the management to mail his equipment back to him when they found it. That would probably take months, he thought glumly. Penny finally reappeared, pink-cheeked and yawning, and Sheldon resented her apparent ability to achieve REM state. He didn't know why he should feel this way, but ever since that they gotten back to this cabin, a figurative wall had seemed to go up between them. He was just now beginning to understand several things to which he had heard Leonard, Howard and Raj allude. He couldn't quite bring himself to think that having coitus with Penny had been a mistake, but it had left him feeling confused. Their relationship had morphed from mere friendship to something undefined, and the uncertainty made him agitated and upset.

Penny finally finished shoving her things haphazardly into her suitcase and announced she was ready to leave. The tension in the air was palpable, even to Sheldon. Earlier, when she had gone into her bedroom and shut the door behind her, he hadn't been offended. They had both been through an ordeal, and it seemed only natural that they should each seek their own bed, rather than disturb their sleep by trying to cohabit. But now Sheldon wondered if that had been the best choice. Penny seemed remote and had been unusually quiet all morning. She was driving them home now and hadn't said a word for half an hour.

Since relationships were clearly an area in which he was no expert and Penny was, he spoke up. "Is it your intention to add coitus to our routine interactions?"

Her head whipped around so fast, he was afraid that she would hyperextend the ligaments in her neck, causing the condition colloquially known as whiplash. She stared at him, wide-eyed, until he was forced to remind her loudly, "Eyes on the road!"

A corner of her mouth quirked up when he said that, but she sobered quickly. "No, sweetie, this was a one-time deal. I don't really do the 'friends with benefits' thing."

Sheldon fell silent. Her response had been rather vague, but he apprehended her meaning. Apparently, he had misinterpreted the changes in her demeanor towards him. Perhaps she had merely been expressing gratitude for his financial contributions. That thought made him uncomfortable, although he didn't know why.

As he was still trying to wrestle with these new emotional complexities, Penny switched on the radio and tuned in to a country music station. With a sigh, Sheldon gave up trying to understand her and put on his headphones to listen to one of his beloved Feynman lectures. Hours later, they hadn't talked anymore except to discuss when they should stop for gas and a bathroom break. When they pulled up in front of the apartment complex, Sheldon removed his headphones and looked over at Penny.

"So... I guess I'll see you around?" she asked with an unconvincing approximation of her usual smile.

"It would be highly improbable if I did not see you, given the proximity of our dwellings," he replied.

She fought the impulse to say anything else. He hadn't said a word about dating or liking her, just asked if they were going to keep having sex. She refused to push for some kind of declaration from him. She'd made the mistake of being clingy and needy exactly once in her life, with the very first guy she'd fallen hard for. The aftermath of that brief relationship was an experience she never wanted to repeat. So she merely nodded, got her bags out of the trunk, and walked away without looking back. Sheldon would lock up her car, she was certain, but at the moment, she didn't much care what he did. As she mounted the stairs, her annoyance was growing with every upward step she took, but whether it was aimed at Sheldon or herself, she couldn't have said. Back in her own apartment, she took another long, hot shower and crawled into bed, wrapped up snugly in her fluffiest robe.

Sheldon had indeed locked up Penny's car, muttering to himself over her apparent carelessness. By now, he was convinced that coitus had invariably damaged, perhaps ruined, their friendship. The whole weekend was beginning to seem like a disaster, from beginning to end. When he walked into the apartment, Leonard squinted up at him from the sofa where he had been watching Babylon 5, a show he knew Sheldon hated.

"So how'd it go?" Leonard asked.

"It was a catastrophe. All of my scientific equipment was lost in the blizzard," Sheldon answered tersely before disappearing into his room.

* * *

As Leonard turned back to his show, he breathed a sigh of relief. He had been concerned about Sheldon going away with Penny for the weekend, even if it seemed extremely unlikely that either of them would ever show the slightest romantic interest in each other. It was just that Leonard had always been jealous of his roommate. Sheldon was smarter, he was taller, he didn't need glasses, and he could digest dairy. Worst of all, Sheldon seemed oblivious to the attention he garnered every year from admiring grad students, although that was the part that also reassured Leonard. In all the years he had known Sheldon, he had never shown the slightest interest in any girl, no matter how obviously she flirted with him (or in any guy, and there had been a few of those, too). No, as far as he, Howard and Raj could tell, Sheldon was completely asexual. It was far more likely that Penny had spent the weekend hooking up with some big dumb jock. Leonard was jealous of the jocks too, of course, but at least he knew he couldn't compete with them. If that was Penny's type, then he didn't have a chance, and he could accept that. He would much rather pine for her from afar than see her date a smart guy who wasn't him.


	7. Chapter 7

On Tuesday night, a few hours into her shift at the Cheesecake Factory, Penny saw the guys being led by the hostess back to their favorite table. She tried to ignore the way her breath seemed to catch in her throat when she didn't see a familiar tall figure among them. She murmured her excuses to the customers she was waiting on and hurried over.

"Where's Sheldon?" she demanded.

Leonard shrugged. "He said he was feeling tired, so he was just going to stay home."

"That means we get a Sheldon-free evening," Howard chimed in gleefully.

Raj showed his agreement by vehement nodding, a thumbs-up, and a mischievous grin.

"So he didn't come to the Cheesecake Factory on Tuesday night for his bacon barbecue cheeseburger. That doesn't concern any of you?" Penny frowned.

"We need to take advantage of these rare opportunities whenever we can. Besides, what do you care? I thought you and Sheldon had a big fight or something," Leonard said.

"What? No, nothing like that," Penny protested.

"Well, I think his exact words about the weekend were 'complete disaster'. He seemed upset about something, and I don't think it was the equipment that got left behind," Leonard replied, frowning as he wondered again what exactly was going on between Penny and Sheldon.

Penny bit her lip as she looked away, blinking rapidly. "Um, yeah, I guess you could say we had a falling-out," she said when she had her voice under control. "I... I gotta go." She turned on her heel and walked off.

"Hey, Penny? You forgot to take our order!" Leonard yelled after her.

She repressed the urge to flip him the bird as she tossed back over her shoulder, "You guys always order the same thing!" Then she made a beeline for the ladies' room so no one could see her cry.

A few minutes later, she was splashing her reddened eyes with cold water and trying to wipe away the smeared mascara (despite the manufacturer's claims of it being waterproof). A high-pitched voice startled her. "You look like you're having a rough night."

Penny spun around to see a petite blonde dressed in the restaurant uniform. "I'm fine," she lied unconvincingly. "It's Bernadette, right?"

The tiny blonde nodded and replied in her squeaky voice, "You can call me Bernie. I know I just started working here, and we don't know each other very well, but you look like you could use a friend."

Penny stared at the other woman for a moment. "Yeah, I guess I kind of do need a friend," she said slowly. "Two years ago, I broke up with this guy I was living with. Turns out most of our friends were actually his friends. And Brittany, who I thought was my best friend, was actually sleeping with him behind my back. My only real friends over the past two years are these geeky guys that live across the hall from me... and I think I just royally screwed it up with one of them."

"It seems like you really care about him," Bernie said sympathetically.

"Sheldon?" Penny yelped. "Mr. Crazy Hamburger Guy? No, no, no... that's not... I mean, that would be crazy."

Bernie studied her for a moment. "I took this job so I could afford to finish my degree. Between work and studying, I haven't really made the time for friends, but it would be nice to have somebody to talk to. Tell you what, how about we go out for a drink after work is over. You can tell me all about Crazy Hamburger Guy, and I'll tell you about my overbearing parents."

Penny gave her a watery smile. "How could I resist an offer like that?" she quipped.

Later that night, Penny listened to Bernadette's frustration with living at home, including the fact that her mother still laid out her clothes for her as if she were a preschooler. Penny was impressed to hear that the degree her new friend was working on was actually a doctorate in microbiology. Then Penny confessed that she was afraid she had ruined her hard-won friendship with the strangest of her four nerdy acquaintances. Bernie was sympathetic, but she didn't have any advice. She had spent the past eight years focusing on her studies and rarely dated.

"But it sounds like you've met a bunch of really nice guys," Bernie said a bit wistfully.

Penny looked at her in surprise. "A week ago, I would've told you that none of them were what I'd call boyfriend material. But hey, if you're interested, you can come over some night and meet them—that is, if Sheldon will ever speak to me again."

"Maybe you just need to give it time," Bernie said. "From what you said, it sounds like you have a lot more dating experience than he does. So if you're freaking out right now, imagine how he feels."

"Yeah, maybe you're right," said Penny reflectively. She smiled tentatively at Bernie, but her thoughts were still focused on Sheldon.

* * *

Penny tried to give Sheldon space, but she wasn't the type to sit passively by and wait for things to happen. She'd always been the type to take charge and jump right in, and she was starting to get fed up with his disappearing act. On Friday night, she traded shifts with Bernie so she could have the night off. So certain was she that Sheldon would be at home having pizza and playing vintage video games that she was willing to give up one of the most lucrative nights in waitressing. Penny found out that he was at home, but he was holed up in his room. The door was locked, and he refused to open it. There was nothing that she wanted to say to him through a closed door, so she gave up in disgust.

"Aren't you staying?" Leonard asked hopefully, pushing his glasses up with one finger.

"Sorry. I just don't really feel like hanging out tonight," she apologized as she walked out.

After watching her leave, Howard turned to Leonard. "You've lost, man. Unless I'm very much mistaken, a certain cheesecake-scented goddess has fallen for the king of the nerds."

"Really?" Leonard sat up a little straighter. He hadn't gotten the impression that Penny had changed her mind about him, but if Howard thought so, he was more than ready to believe him. "I thought she was mad at me. Do you think she left because she's afraid I'll guess her true feelings for me?"

Howard gave him a withering look, while Raj started laughing so hard he dropped his pizza.

"Dude, you're more dense than a black hole!" Raj chortled.

Leonard gaped in surprise while Howard chimed in, "For all that you try so hard to pass for a non-geek, I can't believe you thought I was referring to _you_ when I said 'king of the nerds'. The hottest girl we know has the hots for your roommate."

"You can't mean... not Sheldon!" Leonard spluttered.

"Haven't you noticed how weird they've both been acting lately?" Raj questioned. "Trust me, something freaky's going on."

Leonard scowled at him. "Don't be ridiculous. If girls like her don't fall for guys like me, then they definitely don't fall for giant freaks like Sheldon."

"Anyway, didn't I see you chatting up Leslie Winkle outside the laser lab yesterday?" Raj asked.

Leonard tried to shrug in a casual manner, but he couldn't keep the smug grin off his face. "Oh, yeah, she couldn't keep her hands off me after I helped her adjust her laser array."

Just then, Sheldon poked his head around the corner. After carefully scanning the living area, he came over and sat on his favorite spot on the couch. "While it is completely understandable that you gentlemen were at a loss without me, I am here now. Let the gaming commence," Sheldon announced loftily, picking up his controller.

"Not until you give us all the nasty details of what's going on between you and Penny," Howard leered.

"Nothing is going on," Sheldon retorted. "Now, are we going to play Metroid Prime, or are we going to sit around gossiping like a bunch of old ladies at a church picnic?"

Leonard looked skeptical, while Howard and Raj exchanged baffled glances. Sheldon hadn't twitched at all, so he must be telling the truth, and yet something was definitely off.

* * *

By the next day, Penny had worked herself up to being really pissed off. She couldn't believe that Sheldon, Mr. Genius IQ, was pulling this junior high crap by trying to avoid her. She decided to seize her next opportunity to waylay him and force him to talk to her. And she knew exactly when to do so: laundry night.

At precisely 8:15 that evening, Sheldon emerged from his apartment, holding his basket full of clothes, detergent and his folding board. He almost shrieked when he saw Penny standing in the hall, obviously waiting for him.

"We need to talk, and you're not going to worm your way out of it," she said in a menacing tone, blocking his way with an arm braced across the door frame.

"Now is hardly an auspicious time..." Sheldon began.

"Oh, will you just drop the big words and talk to me?" Penny cried. She advanced toward him, and Sheldon retreated back into the apartment. She cast a quick glance around the living room and was relieved that there was no sign of any of the guys. There was no way she was going to let Sheldon wriggle out of this conversation.

"I don't want to talk about it now," Sheldon said, enunciating carefully as he set down his laundry basket. "There, did I use small enough words for you?"

Penny scowled at him. "Look, you can't just keep acting like I don't exist. Just because we slept together-"

She never got to finish her sentence, because there was a loud thump from behind one of the desks, and then Leonard rose up from behind it. He was rubbing his head where he had just banged it on the underside of the desk. The look of shock and horror on her face would have been comical in another situation.

"You slept together?" Leonard cried out. Correctly interpreting the stunned looks on the faces of both his friends, he rounded on Sheldon. "You backstabbing Judas!" he cried. "How could you do this to me? Penny was mine!"

For once, Sheldon appeared flustered. "I had no intention of behaving in a manner inconsistent with our friendship-"

"He saved my life," Penny interrupted, raising her voice.

"What?" Leonard said in confusion.

"We got lost in a blizzard. I would've frozen to death if Sheldon hadn't ditched all his science stuff and carried me until he found some kind of shelter."

Leonard still looked angry. "Even if you felt some sort of misplaced gratitude towards him, that doesn't excuse what he did. He's known how I feel about you for two years. Hell, you both did."

"Yeah, I've known for two years that you had a crush on me," Penny said to him gently. "And I guess that's partly my fault for making out with you after my Halloween party that Kurt crashed. The thing was, that night I was hurt and vulnerable and pretty tipsy. I took advantage of your crush to feel better about myself, and I really regret that, because it's made things a little weird between us. What happened between me and Sheldon is like that times a thousand, and this time, it's totally my fault. He's clearly freaked out, and I don't want to lose him as a friend. And if the two of you stopped being friends because of it, I would never forgive myself."

There was a long pause, and then Leonard scowled. "Fine. I'll give you guys some privacy," he said sulkily. He turned around and retreated to his bedroom. When it came right down to it, he knew that Sheldon had a very difficult time relating to people. He knew that theirs was a weird friendship; at times, they barely tolerated each other. And as for women, it was true that while he only dated occasionally, Sheldon had never shown any kind of interest in any woman. It was somewhat of a miracle that Penny had become friends with both of them, and while he had hoped to win her over, he knew that was an impossible fantasy. He'd never been jealous when she dated those over-muscled hunks; he knew he could never compete with them. But Sheldon was crazy: an obsessive-compulsive control freak with the emotional maturity level of a preschooler. He couldn't stand the idea that she had chosen Sheldon over him.

* * *

Out in the living room, Sheldon faced Penny with a look of surprise on his face. "That was an impressive display of reasoning, coming from you," he said.

"I may not be a genius like you guys, but I'm not stupid either," Penny replied, refusing to take offense at his back-handed compliment.

She sat on the middle cushion of the leather couch and patted the seat to her left. "Sit down, sweetie. We need to talk."

Her words left Sheldon feeling an unaccountable surge of dread, but he forced himself to cross the room and sit next to her. His favorite spot, which he had once declared the nexus of his existence, was suddenly cold comfort.

"On the trip, I thought maybe you were attracted to me," Penny began. "And I don't really hold back. You know when it comes to initiating sex, I'm a big ol' five. So I just acted without thinking about the consequences, and that part is my fault. But come on, Sheldon, if you didn't want to, all you had to do was tell me no. I almost wish you would've, because now you're mad at me, and I hate it. So tell me how we can be friends again, please."

Sheldon hesitated. "You are correct that I felt some primitive hormonal attraction to you," he said slowly. "Taken with our already close friendship, I misconstrued your actions to indicate a desire for a new relationship paradigm. But since you have indicated that you have no interest in further physical intimacy, I must concur that it is best for us to go back to being just friends."

There were a lot of big words in his statement, but the last part was clear enough. "Yeah, I guess you're right; we're better off as friends," Penny said, trying to ignore the little pang of sadness. "I guess I should go." She stood up to leave, and he didn't try to stop her as she walked out.


	8. Chapter 8

Sheldon couldn't move. He didn't understand why he felt such a terrible emptiness. Dating Penny would be ill-advised, inconvenient, chaotic and...

The door opened again, and Penny stuck her head into the apartment. "Hey, Sheldon?" she asked, her voice sounding strained. "Do you remember when you asked me what happens after two people hook up? I said either one of two things would happen, and then you asked me if there was a third option."

"I believe my exact wording was 'alternative', not 'option', but go on," he replied.

"What if… what if we had a third alternative here? I mean, I don't want to lose you as a friend, but have you ever thought about…"

"About what?" he asked.

"About asking me out," she said in a rush as she stepped into the apartment and closed the door behind her. She took a few steps closer. "I mean, we already spend a lot of time together. It would just be more one-on-one time. I know you don't do romance, but when you think about it, I don't really either." She gave a short laugh. "So if you look at it that way, we're perfect for each other."

Her words made his breath catch in his throat. They were dissimilar in so many ways, and yet no woman had ever made him want to change his routines, to alter his lifestyle so she would have a place in it. Torn between two conflicting desires, he hesitated. Two years versus six, the logical side of his mind pointed out.

He shook his head slowly. "You know Leonard has had feelings for you since the first day we met. Even if I have come to care for you, I can't betray him."

Penny's heart almost skipped a beat at his last words. The idea that he would give up this one chance at happiness out of loyalty to his friend made her want to both cry and kiss him senseless. She looked into his face and wondered how she'd ever thought he wasn't boyfriend material. Sure, he was quirky and arrogant, insulting even at times. But underneath all the social awkwardness, he had a good heart. She wasn't going to give up just because there were some obstacles to their dating. Realizing that she had just labeled Leonard as an obstacle in her mind, Penny knew she would never again feel sorry for him because of his puppy-dog eyes and self-pitying stories of his difficult childhood.

"Would Leonard do the same for you?" she asked softly.

After a pause, he answered, "It would never even occur to him to do so."

Penny closed the remaining distance between them and laid a hand on his arm. "Let me talk to him," she urged. He looked down where she was touching him, and she could see on his face the internal struggle he was experiencing.

Finally, he nodded. "No matter what the outcome, I believe he will be more receptive to what you have to say."

"Okay, I'll talk to him tomorrow. He's pretty upset right now, so that'll give him a chance to cool down." She raised up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "Goodnight, sweetie." She took two steps toward the door before she hesitated and turned around. In one swift movement, she closed the gap between them, threw her arms around his neck, and kissed him hungrily. She didn't let go until he relaxed and kissed her back. This time, when she left, Sheldon was looking slightly dazed, and Penny was absolutely determined to somehow make this work.

* * *

Leonard came out of his room about half an hour later to find Sheldon writing on his whiteboard. "So, is Penny your girlfriend now?" he asked sarcastically. He had to ask it that way, even knowing that Sheldon never picked up on sarcasm. If the answer to his question was affirmative, sarcasm was the only way he could assuage his hurt feelings.

"No, the matter between us has not been settled," Sheldon answered as he wrote something else down on the board. Leonard craned his neck to look at what Sheldon was working on. It wasn't physics; those were statistical analyses covering the board. He turned his attention back to the real issue. "What do you mean, it's not settled?"

Sheldon didn't look at him as he kept scribbling away, although it seemed like his hand shook slightly as he added another equation to the board. "I told Penny you were my friend first, and I couldn't betray you. Then she asked me if you would do the same, and I have to admit, I don't believe you would."

"What? What are you talking about?" Leonard asked angrily.

Sheldon flinched as Leonard's voice rose in volume. "I refer you to the disaster that occurred when we attempted to collaborate on a paper, leading to public humiliation for both of us. There was also the time when you had no compunctions about stealing Howard's date, Dr. Stephanie Barnett. Or the fact that you had coitus with Leslie Winkle two days ago in the laser lab while still feigning romantic interest in Penny. You have a long and well-documented history of doing what is best for yourself, regardless of the consequences to others, especially your friends."

"That's not true! I'm friends with you, aren't I?" Leonard cried.

Sheldon paused and erased some numbers. "Yes, you are," he said quietly.

Something about the way he spoke made Leonard feel ashamed, but he kept going. "And I called dibs on her, right? You remember that, don't you?"

Sheldon erased an entire line. "You know I'm incapable of forgetting," he answered in a low voice.

"You can't do this to me. I've never met someone as beautiful as Penny who was actually nice to me. You have no idea what it was like for me growing up with parents who didn't love me." Leonard's voice began to take on a slight whining tone.

Sheldon's hand, still holding the felt eraser, jerked spasmodically, wiping through several lines of equations. He stared at his whiteboard and then started erasing it viciously. "No, I have no idea what your childhood was like. All I had to deal with was an alcoholic father who was verbally abusive and sent me off to boarding school when I was ten because he couldn't cope with having a son who was smarter than he was. And a mother who hit me with a Bible and made me keep secrets from my father and had me hospitalized in a mental health facility because she thought I was clinically insane-" The torrent of words suddenly ceased, and Sheldon dropped his hand as if he just realized he'd been trying to erase a perfectly clean board for the past several seconds. He carefully returned the eraser to its tray, taking care to line it up precisely. "Excuse me, Leonard," he said and disappeared in the direction of his bedroom. Leonard watched him in astonishment. Sheldon rarely mentioned his past and had certainly never used sob stories about his childhood to try to get a girl to feel sympathy for him. It made Leonard feel mean and petty. Sheldon frustrated him so much, and one of those reasons was that for all his quirks, Leonard knew Sheldon was the better man in almost every respect.

* * *

Penny came to see Leonard the next evening after her shift at the Cheesecake Factory. Leonard knew she must have timed her visit after Sheldon's bedtime so the two of them could talk privately. He felt another stab of guilt when he saw her. He was afraid that this was how he would continue to feel every time he looked at either her or Sheldon, unless… he couldn't even verbalize that thought. How could he give up his dream of Penny and their beautiful, smart babies?

Penny sat down on the edge of the leather couch, and he took a seat next to her. Both of them scrupulously avoided Sheldon's spot. "Look, Leonard, I know it's late, and I'm really beat, but we need to talk," she began.

"Wait, Penny, let me say something first. What happened between you and Sheldon was a mistake; I think we all know that. You ended up in this really weird situation where you felt grateful to him, and so you expressed your gratitude in a... a certain way. I get that, although if I'd had any idea what would happen, I would have paid any amount of money to be the one to go with you…" He broke off as Penny's eyebrows drew together and her nostrils flared. "What I mean is, I'm not going to hold it against you. But you know I've been the one who's been in love with you ever since you moved in next door. If you gave Sheldon a chance, then shouldn't I get one too?"

Penny's face went blank with shock. "A chance at _what_?" she hissed. "A chance to hop into bed with me? Listen up, mister, I was going to try to be nice to you, but I'm really not feeling it anymore. I didn't sleep with Sheldon because I felt grateful to him. It happened because I could tell he was attracted to me, and I… I started to think of him as more than a friend. I don't know if we can turn this into something real, but I can tell you that he wants to. He _wants_ us to be more than just friends."

Leonard gaped at her. "But he's a robot…"

"Who's learning how to be a real boy," Penny replied in a sardonic tone. "That really is what it's like for him. He struggles so hard to understand people, and his biggest fear is that he'll lose your friendship. I don't think, if the tables were turned, that you would do the same. In fact, after seeing you steal your last girlfriend out from under Howard's nose, I'm almost certain you wouldn't. Your friendship means a lot more to him than his does to you. That means you have power over him. You can make his life a living hell, and he would take it because he's scared to lose his only close friend."

"I wouldn't do that," Leonard began uncomfortably, squirming because that was exactly what he had begun to do. He'd seen Sheldon's emotional conflict, enacted on the tableau of his beloved whiteboards, and heard all sorts of awful details from his childhood come pouring out as if the dam that had held them back for so long was finally beginning to give way. Up until that moment, Sheldon had only ever hinted at the traumas of his past.

"Look, this was his very first time. If you stop talking to him because of it, he could easily develop some kind of complex. I doubt he'd ever act on his feelings for a woman again, and even your mom didn't mess you up that bad. If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me. But if you keep on holding a grudge against Sheldon, you could destroy his ability to trust anyone ever again. And let me tell you, I wouldn't want to be friends with somebody who acted like that."

Leonard swallowed hard. He didn't like the way Penny had portrayed him, but he saw the consequences if he continued to act the way he was doing now. He dropped his head in his hands. "I've seen it all along," he muttered. "I've known it since day one."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"You looked at his whiteboard and called him a genius. With anyone else, he would have calmly agreed. But he smiled at you, and he almost never smiles… not real ones, anyway. That was when I knew that somehow, deep down inside, he was attracted to you. But I wasn't really worried because I thought he'd scare you off. After all, he insulted you, argued with you and strung your lingerie up on a telephone wire."

"Yeah, he does take some getting used to," Penny commented wryly.

"Actually, once you realized that Sheldon isn't emotionally mature enough to express his feelings like an adult, his actions make perfect sense. He's acting like a twelve-year-old boy with his first crush. He wanted your attention, but knowing him, he probably had no idea why. I don't think he had any idea how he felt about you for a long time, and once he did, he didn't know how to handle it."

"It sounds like you know him pretty well," Penny said gently. "In fact, you sound like his best friend, and right now, he could really use one. What do you think?"

He squinted thoughtfully at her for a moment, then he swiftly leaned in and kissed her. She shoved him away, saying, "Leonard, what the _hell_?"

"Did you feel anything?" he asked hopefully.

"A little like punching you in the nose," she replied with saccharin sweetness.

"Then I guess this is goodbye," he said sadly.

"Goodbye? What do you mean? We're still going to be friends, right?"

"Yeah, we are. I just need to say goodbye to my dream of you falling in love with me. We were going to have smart and beautiful babies together, you know."

Penny laughed. "Then I guess in your dream, I was one of those Stepford wives. I don't want to think about marriage and kids yet. And honestly, we're all wrong for each other. Don't get me wrong; you're a nice guy. But you're too nice. You would let me walk all over you because you thought you were in love and then resent me for not being the person you built up in your head."

Leonard sighed. "That's unbelievable. You read people almost as good as my mom, without the PhD. I have a feeling you're going to need every insight you've got to deal with Sheldon."

She sat up and leaned forward eagerly. "Does that mean…?"

"Yeah, you have my blessing. I'll tell Sheldon tomorrow morning."

Penny squealed and hugged him. "Thank you. And I promise, when the right girl for you comes along, you won't have to pretend anything in order to make it work. The right girl really will be perfect for you."

* * *

Sheldon was sitting at the kitchen counter, having a bowl of "big bran" cereal. Given his apprehension over Leonard's reaction, he felt he needed a high-fiber breakfast. He hadn't seen his roommate yet that morning, just a quick glimpse of the back of his ratty old robe as he stumbled sleepily toward the bathroom. He wondered if Penny had talked to him yet as she had promised. The hope of being with her was almost enough to ease the churning in his stomach at his fear of losing his best friend.

There was a soft click, and he turned around. His mild surprise at seeing his front door open gave way to complete astonishment as Penny crept in. Her eyes alighted on him, and a huge smile spread across her face.

"Morning, sweetie," she said in a voice still husky with sleep.

"Penny… it's 6:30 in the morning. What are you doing up?"

She laughed softly. "I talked to Leonard last night, and I got him to come round. If you want to ask me out, he won't stand in our way."

"Are you certain?" he asked apprehensively.

She walked over and ran her fingers through his hair. "Yup," she said with a big smile. Then she squeezed onto his lap and cuddled up against him.

"Will a romantic relationship with you always involve so much touching?" he asked with a hint of a whine.

She grabbed the lapels of his robe and pulled his face closer. "Hell, yeah." Her lips fused perfectly with his.

Despite his lingering concerns about Leonard, he couldn't help but respond a little before he pulled away. "This is gonna take some gettin' used to," he murmured. The Texan twang accented his words as it did in rare times of high emotion. "Does this mean you're my girlfriend now?"

She grinned at him. "Do you want me to be?"

"Considering the alternative, yes."

"What's the alternative?" she asked curiously as she put her arms around his neck.

"You not being my girlfriend. Seeing you date other men," he replied. It wasn't easy for him to speak coherently with Penny sitting in his lap.

"Aww… you're cute when you're jealous," she whispered and kissed him again. Suddenly, she sat up and hopped off his lap.

"Oh. Hi, Leonard," she said, looking over his shoulder and blushing a little.

Sheldon turned around in surprise to see Leonard squinting at both of them through his thick, dark glasses. Good heavens, he thought. He had completely lost track of the time while talking to Penny. Glancing at his watch, he saw it was almost a quarter to seven.

Leonard was looking back and forth between the two of them. "This is like an episode of the Twilight Zone," he muttered. "I guess she already told you then."

"So it's true that you no longer object to our dating?" Sheldon asked Leonard. "Not that I'm questioning your veracity, Penny, but I would like to hear it directly from him."

Leonard ran a hand through his messy curls and sighed. "Yeah, buddy, it is. I've never seen you show the least interest in any woman until now, so I guess I'll just have to deal. You're my best friend, you know."

Sheldon's whole face twitched, and for a moment, he seemed too taken aback to respond. Finally, he said, "Thank you, Leonard. You're my best friend, too."

"Just… try not to mess this up. She's special," Leonard said with a sad smile at Penny.

"No, she's not special," Sheldon replied, prompting a gasp of outrage from Penny. "She's unique… peerless… incomparable." This was directed to her, and her face softened as she hugged him.

"Isn't he adorable?" she said to Leonard with a grin.

Leonard could only shake his head, and then squinted in disbelief as the roommate he had once believed to be asexual bent his head and kissed the woman sitting on his lap. "Definitely the Twilight Zone," he commented with a mock shudder as he headed for the shower. The way things were going between the two lovebirds, he had no doubt he would need noise-canceling headphones very soon.


End file.
